Chain

My unit manager is a woman who is hard-nosed and very straight forward. She is in charge of our whole unit and the only one above her is the warden. I like her, as I feel that she is one of the few people here who seems to genuinely care about us and about her job. She told me today that there is to be a big chain on Friday, but looked me right in the eye and said that I am not on it. So, if she is correct then I should still be here at least through this weekend. I would like to stay at Eden as long as possible because I'm able to talk to my wife and my girls so often and I get along well with everyone here. Once I move to a prison, my phone contact will be much more restricted. I'll be limited to 300 minutes per month with a 15 minute limit per call, so I will have to allocate my time carefully. (Although, right now because all of the prisons are still on some level of lock down due to Covid and all visitation is shut down indefinitely, they are allowing 500 free minutes per month. However, most of the inmates are not able to access the phones that often, sometimes only once every few days with only a 10 minute limit.) So, even though I am ready and somewhat anxious to move and to know where I will be, I am glad to stay here longer.
I'm thankful to have this time to study and to prepare myself mentally, physically, and spiritually for the next step that is to come. I am trusting in God's timing and wisdom.
I love you all!

Names of God

I mentioned in my previous post how much I like the Book of Genesis. 

I've been continuing my study from the book called “The Power of God’s Names” by Tony Evans and getting back into the Book of Genesis with it.

From Genesis 1:1 – 2:3, the KJV Bible translates the Hebrew name of God “Elohim” as “God”.  Elohim means the almighty creator.  Through the rest of chapter 2, we see that the Bible calls Him “the LORD God”.  Pretty much anytime that you see the word Lord spelled with all capital letters, the Hebrew word that was translated was Yahweh or YHWH.  The English version is Jehovah.  This means self-existing and gives God the attribute of intrinsic authority.  That is, He is the ultimate authority.

Yahweh or Jehovah is God revealing Himself to man as the self-existing, never changing, personal God.  It is His attribute that allows us to see who He is as our God, Father, provider, caregiver, and our friend.

In Exodus 33:9-11. Moses and God talk face to face as a man speaks to his friend.  The word LORD is used here to describe God, and of course it’s translated from the Hebrew word Yahweh.

In Genesis chapter 2, verses 16 and 17, the Bible says that “The LORD God” (Jehovah-Elohim the self-existing creator) told Adam that he could eat of any tree of the garden except for the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.    

So, Jehovah is translated to LORD in capital letters.  (As a side note, I’ve been reading through Ezekiel and discovered that when I see the name of God as Adonai together with the name Jehovah, it is translated as “Lord GOD”. Interesting!)

In Genesis 3:1, the Bible says that the serpent, or Satan, was more subtle than any other creature.  Ephesians 6 says that he is wily, or tricky.  When the serpent is attacking, it seems like the opposite to the untrained eye.  When he’s up to his tricks, it seems like he is doing us good.

The verse even states that “the LORD God” made him.  He made him that way so that we would eventually choose God over Satan.  If we are forced to love God, or if we don’t have a choice, is it really love?  I firmly believe that the angel Lucifer was created to rebel against God and to be our tempter, out of God’s love for us.  But that’s a whole different study in itself.

In the second half of verse 1, we see Satan talking to Eve.  The first thing that we see him do is talk about a subject close to Eve’s heart….God.  They’re just chillin’, chatting about God when Satan subtlety brings up something that God said she could not have.  “Hath God (Elohim) said, “ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden”? 

He also conveniently leaves out another name of God.  It wasn’t just the Elohim or creator part of God that gave the rules, it was Yahweh-Elohim, the authority creator who gave that rule.

This should have been Eve's first red flag, when he didn’t give full honor to God; instead he took God’s name in vain.  And because she didn’t flee, she instead fell right into the trap that was cleverly set for her.  

Read Eve’s response in verses 2-3 of Genesis 3.  “We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden.” “But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God (Elohim) hath said, “ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die””.

In her reply back to Satan, she took out the authority of God and took his name in vain when she omitted the name Yahweh.  This opened the door to the next event which sets off a domino effect – and she added to God’s word.  He never gave the rule about not touching the fruit.  In fact, He told Adam to “keep” the garden, which means that they were to touch the fruit.

Now that Satan had her in his trap, he goes in for the kill.  His reply to Eve is in Genesis 3:4-5, “Ye shall not surely die.”  “For God (Elohim) doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods (Elohim), knowing good and evil.”

He is trying to convince Eve that God doesn’t have her best interests at heart.  That He doesn’t want them to eat that fruit because then they would be just like God, knowing good and evil.

In Genesis 1:27, the Bible tells us that God created man in His own image.  I believe this means that God created us to be three parts; body, soul, and spirit; just as He is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  In her fully unfallen form, Eve was already as much like God as she could ever possibly be.  She already had as close of a relationship with God as she could ever have.  Satan is subtly taking away the authority of God, and then he works on the relationship that she has with God.  He tells her that God doesn’t really want what’s best for her, and he implies that she should instead give into him (wily and tricky).

Unfortunately, the decision to not acknowledge God’s authority led her to make the decision to give into the temptation to eat of the forbidden fruit.  That’s where it starts for us as well, with our refusal to acknowledge God’s authority in our life or build a relationship with him.

This rule goes for all areas of our lives.  Some of us are tempted by our eyes, some of us are tempted by having stuff, some of us are tempted by our pride.

I believe that the most dangerous temptation is pride. 

Pride tells us, “I’m close to God, I don’t sin like they do, I’m OK.”  It also instructs us to hate and judge other people. 

For me, being incarcerated, my #1 rule is to not judge other people.  

This is not an easy rule to follow.  My crime that landed me in this cell in the desert of Eden was pretty horrible.  It was worse than some, not as bad as others.  I’ve met people who simply embezzled money.  I’ve met people who have killed other people or at least their actions caused the death of one or more persons.  I’ve met people who committed acts that would probably make you sick.  But, as one of my favorite people in the world pointed out to me, the same blood that was shed for my sin was shed for their sin.

1 Corinthians 10:12 says, “Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.”  That verse is for me!  One of my biggest struggles in jail has been my temptation to have hateful feelings towards people.  Not people in here, but people “in the world”.  I pray daily for my judge, my prosecutor, and my investigators.  This is a selfish prayer though.  The end goal I have with this action is to not hate them.  God loves them and so should I.

One of the biggest causes of depression and anger in inmates is the feeling that comes with abandonment.  I know that not everyone can empathize with this, but it’s real and it’s a huge reality in prisoner's lives.  

I have experienced it, and I have spent a lot of sleepless nights, tears, and anxiety on it while I was learning to deal with it.

My initial reaction is to do the same – to say that if someone who has abandoned me ever does contact me then I’ll never contact them back.  

I mentioned this to a pastor that I write back and forth with.  He very gently suggested that I should pray about that because it would be healing to have the opposite attitude. 

It’s funny how when we judge other people, we always wish the same onto them.  If someone murders, we say, “I hope they get killed in prison”.  Or if someone molests or rapes, we say, “I hope they get the same done to them in prison”.  Even in my judgement, I wished the same onto them, “I hope they get abandoned too.”  Even though that’s not truly my hope at all.  It’s my sinful reaction to their action.

The authority of God says to love our enemy and to pray for them.  The people that I pray for are not my enemy, but Satan wants me to view them that way.

I love them and I pray daily for them.  Not because they support me, but because I love God first and He loves them.

I believe that if Eve would have fled Satan and clung to God and his authority, that eventually Satan would have tried again.  Satan even tempted Jesus three times (Matthew 4:1-11) and still didn’t leave him alone afterwards.

The only way to fight Satan in our life is to first recognize God’s authority, and second is to get as close to Him as possible (James 4:7-8). 

God knows who you’re battling in life, He has a battle plan for you, and He provides protection for that battle (Ephesians 6:11-17)

I have had a great time studying the names of God.  It has enhanced my knowledge of the scripture and it has helped my relationship with Him.  

I have found myself using His Hebrew names when I’m talking to Him, and I feel like it has opened up new doors in my faith.

I love you all!

Book Journal - Overcome, True to Form, The Tattooist of Auschwitz

 

I wrote about reading “The Trident” by Jason Redman a couple of months ago.  He wrote a second book called “Overcome” about his recovery from wounds received in Iraq.  At Johnson County, I was not allowed to have any hardback books, but I was able to receive this book here at Eden.  So, my stepmom was able to send this to me as it’s not available in paperback yet.

Where “The Trident” was about the author’s career and the ambush that almost took his life, “Overcome” is an outline of the program that he has developed since then.  He helps many people who suffer what he calls “life ambushes” to overcome the adversities of those ambushes.He talks a lot about motivation and leadership and gives advice about how to be ready when our life ambushes do happen in order to minimize the damage done.

The only aspect of this book that bothers me is the lack of God in his program.  He utilizes what he calls self-leadership, quotes some military leaders who he interviewed, and uses his favorite poem “Invictus” to illustrate that humanist point of view.  But instead of seeing it as “self-leadership”, I am looking at it as submission to God’s order and leadership.

I do highly recommend this book to everyone.  There is a bit of cussing throughout it, but that can be expected given the fact that the author is a former Navy SEAL.

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Another book that I highly recommend is a book that I have read and used before called “True to Form” by Dr. Eric Goodman.  I have had problems with my back for years and have been to a couple of really good chiropractors.  One who helped me a lot is Dr. Joe Colopy in Arlington, TX.  I saw him for about two years, and he is great.  He also helped my kids and my wife – she was able to find ways to keep her vertigo at bay with his help.  One day while I was in his waiting room, I saw this book there.  I read through the forward which was written by Chris Hemsworth.  I figured if foundation training was good enough for Thor, then it’s good enough for me!

The author outlines his program called Foundation Training.  It focuses in on the forgotten muscles that we are supposed to be using to function properly.  It also shows how our lifestyles have contributed to our poor back health and how that affects the rest of our overall health.  Anyone who has chronic pain or even occasional muscle pain can learn movements to eliminate pain or even to just have more energy.  This book is really helping me and I'm sharing it with some of the other guys here too.

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We have a head chaplain and an assistant chaplain here.  One day a few weeks ago, the head chaplain was over here talking to a few people and handing out some books and collecting others that had been lent out.  One of the books that had been returned to her was “The Tattooist of Auschwitz”, by Heather Morris.  I saw this sitting on her cart and asked her if I could read it.  She told me it was her personal copy so I would have to be careful with it.  I decided not to take it from her, but instead asked for it from my family who ordered and sent it to me.  Now the chaplain can have this one to give to other inmates instead of lending out her own copy of her favorite book.

This book is the true story about a Slovakian Jewish man named Lale Sokolov.  He is taken from his home and rides in a cattle train for days before ending up at the concentration camp in Auschwitz-Birkenau.  He is a very bright and charming young man who is fluent in multiple languages.  He is able to secure a job there as the tattooist.  It is his job to tattoo identification numbers on each Jew as they enter the camp.  It’s a job that keeps him fed, semi-comfortable, and gives him the ability to hustle food and medicine into the camp to help others.  The story focuses on him and a young woman named Gita, and they quickly fall in love.  They have to survive hunger, sickness, and the anger of the SS in order to try to escape with their lives.

One of the characters in this story is named Cilka.  She is forced to become the mistress for the SS officer who is in charge of the camp.  She plays a pivotal role in this book and Heather Morris has also written a book about her story called “Cilka’s Journey”, which is a sequel to this book.

This was a really good book and I recommend it for anyone who is interested and likes to read about this time period.  With the amount of cussing, violence, and adult situations, this is probably not a good book for kids though.

Book Journal God's Names

I am currently going through a study called “The Power of God’s Names” by Tony Evans.  Tony Evans is the pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship.  

He also has a radio ministry that reaches over 1,300 stations worldwide.  

He is my favorite preacher to listen to on the radio.  I hope to be able to find a station to listen to him on when I get to wherever I’m going.

It could still be a while before I'm moved because of the high percentage of the prison population contracting COVID19.  I’ve heard that I could be here at Eden until at least September.  Who knows if that’s true, but I am definitely OK with it.  Doing time here has been much easier so far than it was in Johnson County. 

I hear various things about Federal prison, some say it’s easier too, but I imagine that it all depends on the particular facility.  All of the Federal prisons are on at least a partial lockdown in order to slow down the spread of the virus.  We have only had one case here so far and it seems like that case was contained before it spread.  I am trusting in God's timing for my move and trying to be diligent in using my time here wisely in preparation for my future placement.

This study of God’s names is a six week, five days a week study but I am going through it much more quickly.  First of all, it’s really good and it’s a good way for me to spend my time.  Secondly, I really don’t have any idea how long I’ll actually be here, so I’d like to finish it before I’m moved.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to get a little bit deeper into your Bible studying and your relationship with God.

This book takes the OT Hebrew names of God and helps us to understand each one as it pertains to the different attributes of God in relation to what He does for us.

In Chapter 1, Tony is talking about the third commandment, which is found in Exodus 20:7, “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain”.

For years I have not taken this just to mean that we are not to use his name lightly but also that we are to honor Him because we bear His name.  In this study, Pastor Evans sheds some more light on this commandment.

The book of Genesis is one of my favorite books in the Bible, and Chapters 1-3 is probably my favorite portion of scripture in Genesis.  It includes the creation account of the world and of man, His placing man in the Garden of Eden (Eden, Texas is the exact opposite of what I imagine Eden was like, lol), God’s law to man, the fall of man, the separation of God and Man, and the promise of a savior as a way for man to reconcile with God.  It’s the whole Bible wrapped up in three chapters!  (More to follow on this.)