Thursday, July 23, 2020

Daily Routine


Here is an idea of my daily routine here.  Yesterday, I woke up the first time at about 4:30 am when I heard the cart with the breakfast trays come to the front door of our unit.  The breakfast was turkey bologna, apple sauce, cake, and oatmeal.  I ate the turkey and the apple sauce and gave the rest to my friend Dave.  After that I put my CPAP mask back on and went right back to sleep.  I usually stay up after breakfast and get my day started, but it was my birthday, so I went back to sleep.

On Monday through Friday we almost always have oatmeal for breakfast.  It’s not good at all, so I don’t eat it.  Dave and his cellmate Diego like it, so I usually give it to them.  On Saturday and Sunday, they serve cereal and milk.  My old cellmate Moises doesn’t eat his, so he gives it to me.
They have a menu posted by the front door for the month, so it’s good to know what’s coming up in order to know whether it’s going to be good or not 😊.
Last night they had “meatloaf” for dinner.  It should really be called soy loaf, lol, it’s nasty!  But for lunch we had turkey fajitas which are really good.  
So, while they were serving lunch, I mentioned that I was willing to give two soups to anyone for their lunch.  I immediately had a taker.
I knew that we were having meatloaf for dinner, so I wanted the extra lunch to save for dinner.  It worked out really good for me as dinner didn’t come until about 7:15 because of a riot in the chow hall.  They had to spray a bunch of CS-spray which ruined all of the food and they had to remake all of the dinners.  While everyone else was waiting on dinner, I heated up my fajita stuff and ate.  Once the dinner trays finally showed up, I kept the two rolls and butter but gave the rest to my neighbor, Q-tip.    

Our CO yesterday and today is Mr. Alan.  He is an older man who is from this area of Texas, and he has the accent to prove it.  He came by my cell at 7:30 and woke me up because the “pill lady” was in our unit to hand out meds.  So, I got up, put on my crocs, grabbed my ID and my water, and got in line to get my meds.  This pill lady is strict about procedure so with her we end up having to open our mouths to show that we swallowed everything.
Once that was done, I went back to my cell and cleaned up.  I washed my face, brushed my hair and put on fresh deodorant.  There are about 50 inmates in this unit, so it’s always best to have good hygiene.  There are a few guys who do not practice good hygiene and it causes problems.
I made my bed, put away my CPAP machine, and straightened up the top bunk.  Because I don’t have a cellmate, I use the top bunk to put away my clothes, paperwork, books, and hygiene items.  I try to always keep it all neat. 
It was about 8:00 am at this point, so I put two spoons full of dried instant coffee and some dry French Vanilla creamer into my plastic coffee cup.  I took it to the lower level TV room, filled it up with water and heated it in the microwave.
I have a guy who is two cells down from me who cleans people’s cells in exchange for soups. The day before yesterday, he asked for a triple-A battery for cleaning my cell.  He came by and asked if I wanted him to go ahead and clean this morning and I told him to go for it.  He normally cleans cells for one soup, but he does an awesome job, so I usually pay him two.  One AAA battery is worth two soups, so it works out well.  The only reason that I buy soups from commissary is to pay people for stuff.

I then headed over to the phone bank and gave my wife a call.  She and the girls were expecting my call and sang Happy Birthday to me .  I am a very blessed man to have such an amazing, loving family.  The call lasted about 15 minutes and then I went back to my cell to grab my Bible and my headphones so that I could go to the upstairs TV room to read.  There are usually fewer people up there in the mornings.  I was hoping to catch some Sports Center while I read, but it wasn’t on yet.  So, I sat at my table and read Proverbs 22 and Jeremiah 40-42.
There were three other inmates in the TV room at the time, watching three different shows.  One TV had a bar rescue show, one was showing Joe Dirt, and the third TV had Impractical Jokers on.  The three guys were enjoying some microwave popcorn, a honey bun, and some ramen soup.
Once I finished my Bible reading, I headed back down the metal stairs which come down right in front of my cell – cell #104.  My friend had finished mopping and cleaning my cell, so I decided to hang out in there for a while.  After making a few more phone calls, I wound up spending the rest of the morning reading the third book in the Bounty Hunter Star Wars series, called “Hard Merchandise”.

While I was reading, Mr. Alan came to my door again to tell me that the mail room was on the phone for me.  They had received four books in and I am only allowed to have a total of five book with me, so they needed to know how many books I had.  I spent a little bit of time getting rid of a few books and figuring out how I can go ahead and get the new books.  As of right now, I’m not sure how that’s going to work out, lol.  I did end up finishing my book in the afternoon, so it will be donated to the library today when the lady shows up with the book cart.

Around 2:00, Mr. Alan came back into my cell with mail.  He had about five or six pieces of mail for me.  One of these was a card from a friend of our family that I have wanted to get in touch with.  It was a birthday card from her and that picked me up a lot.  It also made me feel good yesterday to hear all of the heartfelt birthday wishes that were posted in our support group – big thanks to everyone who took the time to write those!

Once I finished my Star Wars book, I went ahead and started writing and replying to letters.  This lasted until about 3:45 when it was time for rec.  
It was raining outside, but we all still wanted to go.
It rained on us most of the time, and we had some lightning strikes within a mile of us, but we stayed out there.  I walked the track most of the time.  The dude sitting at the base of the tree and all of the guys on the metal bleachers stayed put, watching the soccer game going on. 
After a while, the lightning moved on and a nice cool breeze came out of the south.  It ended up being a great day to be outside.  After I finished three miles, I went and sat in the bleachers. 
They took us back in at about 5:15.  As we were waiting by the gate to leave the soccer field, a group of black inmates were leaving rec in the gym.  They walked next to us and we were able to talk to them through the fence that separated us.  They had been involved in the chow hall riot yesterday.  The trouble was between them and a white gang called Pieces.  One of the guys we were talking to was only wearing a t-shirt and boxers, lol.  His only uniform had been covered in CS-spray and they still hadn’t given him any new laundry.  #incarceratedlife

Today’s routine has been pretty similar to yesterday.  Lunch came at about 11:30 or so.  It was chicken, rice with veggies, diced carrots, a biscuit with margarine, pinto beans, and a piece of cake.  I also bought someone’s lunch – minus the cake – for a soup.  I put the rice and chicken in a bowl with the beans and put the lid on it for later.
For rec, I usually alternate days between going outside and working out in the gym.  Right after I got back from rec, our dinner came.  It was turkey tetrazzini with a biscuit, diced carrots, and a piece of cake.  I ate all of it, minus the cake.
After dinner I took a shower and then called home to talk to my kids and their mom.  One of the inmates here made a heart for each of the kids with their name on it.  My youngest was anxious to know if he was done with her heart yet.  I let her know that he is almost finished with it and I’ll send hers and the one for my oldest daughter on Monday when I get enough stamps.  I was already able to send the finished heart for my middle daughter and they loved it!  The hearts are pretty cool and unique – he makes them out of paper, trash bags, and candy or chip wrappers. 
After that phone call, I went to check out the TV rooms to see if there was anything good on.  There wasn’t, lol.  So, I finished up a letter and continued to read.  At about 9:15 I called home again to tell all my girls goodnight.  Then, I read for a few more minutes before turning off my light and going to bed.  Goodnight y’all!

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.



Book Journal - Star Wars


I finished the third book in the Bounty Hunter Star Wars series, 
called “Hard Merchandise”, by K.W. Jeter.

This book series has been really good.  It’s made me want to watch the old Star Wars again.  A lot of these characters in the books are also in the movies.

"Hard Merchandise" follows Boba Fett, Dengar, and Neelah as they try to get a hold of very valuable information that Kuat of Kuat is also after.  The information would incriminate him for trying to fabricate evidence that Prince Xizor was behind the attack that killed Luke Skywalker’s aunt and uncle.
It also brings resolution to Neelah’s storyline of trying to figure out who she is and where she belongs, along with Dengar trying to pay off his debts and start a new life with his fiancé. 
I am enjoying this book series and now I’m wanting to start at the beginning of the Legend Series with “Dawn of the Jedi”!



Saturday, July 18, 2020

Armor of God


I have been reading in Ephesians chapter 6, verse 11 where the Apostle Paul tells us to “put on the whole armor of God”.  This is so that we can “stand against the wiles of the devil”.
Satan is subtle; without discipline in our life we will fall in battle against him.  Ask me how I know.  Well, on second thought, don’t ask….We are no match for Satan on our own.  It takes following the order of God in our life in order to win in battle against our own temptations.

In verse 14, Paul tells us first that we have to stand.  We will not win a fight on our backs; we must be standing on our feet.  Later in verse 14 he says to “put on the belt of truth”.  I don’t think that he picked this piece of armor randomly to be the first on the list.  We are to live truthfully.  This doesn’t mean that we should tell people “the truth” about their sin, this is to help us live in truth.
Practicing this principle would have kept me from the actions that have landed me in jail.  It would have kept me from the keeping of secrets that lead up to these actions.

Joshua 24:14-15 tells us to “Fear the Lord, and serve Him in sincerity and in truth”….and to “choose you this day whom ye will serve…as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”.
Part of my “rehabilitation” that I am doing on my own is practicing honesty.  In the days following my sentencing I was finally allowed to open up to my wife about details in my case as well as other things that had stayed hidden.  Wearing the belt of truth is hard, and we won’t be able to move forward with standing for our battle, let alone putting on the rest of the armor, without having “girt” ourselves with truth.
Moving forward in my relationship with my wife, and everyone else for that matter, I have to live truthfully.  I have no idea what God has for my wife and me in the future, but whatever it is it has to be built on truth.

The next piece of armor that Paul tells us to have on is the “breastplate of righteousness”, in verse 14.  We don’t have righteousness because of our own works (Ephesians 2:8-9), but we have righteousness imputed to us (Romans 4) when we put our faith in Jesus as our savior; we literally receive Jesus’ righteousness (Philippians 3:9, Romans 3:22, 2 Corinthians 5:21).
Although on our own our works will never achieve righteousness, when we hunger and thirst after the righteousness of God (Matthew 5:6), and we allow God to lead us in His righteousness (Psalm 5:8), we have on the breastplate of righteousness.
The breastplate is designed to protect vital organs, especially our heart.  When we seek out the righteousness of God, we are guarding our heart from our enemy’s attacks (Philippians 4:6-7, Colossians 3:1-5).

In verse 15, Paul tells us to have our “feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace”.  Philippians 1:27 says, “only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ”.  This isn’t just a conversation as in a communication of words between you and another person, but it is how we behave, how we live, how we walk in our life.  It is communication, but a communication between us and everyone around us. 
When we walk in this world in a way that shows everyone the gospel (the love of God towards man in that Jesus died for our sin and resurrected to give us eternal life), we have our feet shod with the gospel of Christ.  
Isaiah 52:7 and Romans 10:15 both tell us about how much God loves the feet of those who share the gospel of peace.

Paul says in verse 16 that “above all” we should take “the shield of faith” so that we can “quench all the fiery darts of the wicked”.   
In Hebrews chapter 11, verse 1, Paul defines faith this way: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”. 
Faith is what drives our actions.  Whether its turning on the water in the sink and having faith that water will come out of the faucet and then drain properly through the drainage system without leaking all over the bathroom floor, or it’s jumping out of an airplane and trusting that the parachute is going  to slow your impact with the ground enough so that you don’t make a human shaped indentation in the ground, we have faith in everything that we do.
Each thing that we do has a level or measure of faith to it.  We’ve turned on that faucet hundreds or maybe thousands of times and each time everything has worked fine, until it doesn’t, lol.  It doesn’t take much faith because we’ve seen it happen time and time again.
Real faith happens when you do something on a promise of a certain result that you’ve never seen happen before.  In Joshua chapter 6, God tells Joshua to have his army, the priest, and the ark of the covenant compass the high city wall of Jericho once a day for six days without saying anything.  On the seventh day they were to compass the city seven times while carrying seven trumpets made from ram’s horns (which is a signal in battle of victory).  After the seventh time around the city, the priests were to blow the seven horns and the people were to shout.
God promised that when they did this that He would cause the walls to fall so that Israel could take the city.  This strategic approach could only be performed by their faith in God.  Israel is a hardened, trained army who wants to fight, but they must do the opposite; they can’t put their faith in themselves at all to receive this promise.
That’s what the shield of faith is.  It is when we step out by faith and do what God has told us to do and do it how God has told us to do it.  The promise is that when we do this, God will be our shield in the battle with our enemy. 
Genesis 15:1 tells us that God gave this promise to Abram before He told Abram to leave Syria for a land that He would show to him later.  He said, “Fear not Abram!  I am thy shield and thy exceeding great reward”.  When we have faith in God’s yet to be fulfilled promises, He becomes our shield. 

One of the last pieces of armor we are to put on is the helmet of salvation in verse 17 of Ephesians chapter 6.  We don’t ever have to be anxious about having to put on our salvation or keep it on (John 10:28-29), that’s not what Paul is talking about here.  He is speaking about a piece of armor that will protect another vital part of us, our mind.
We’ve already seen how important it is to guard our heart, but really that begins with our mind.  The doorway to our heart is our mind.  But our mind has many doorways into it.  Our eyes, our ears, our mouth and nose, and our flesh.  Anything that affects our heart will enter in through one of these portals of our mind. 

I spent almost three months with very little TV in my life.  So, I was able to focus on what I was listening to and what I was reading in order to get my heart where it needed to be; basically, controlling what I allowed into my mind.  I will also tell you that when I overdid the chocolate intake while in seg, it affected my mind as well.  I spent a lot of my time reading and studying my Bible as well as reading other things too. 
Even when reading books that contain sex scenes (or whatever the book equivalent is to that), I would skip over them.  I would always have my radio tuned to either a sports station or a local Christian station.  I would also do my best to block out the constant garbage and negative, toxic things that the other inmates and CO’s would talk about. 
Now that I’m in Eden, I have six TV’s to choose from to watch.  Taking three months off of TV has changed my heart.  I now no longer want to watch the things that I used to.  In fact, I watch very little TV now at all.  When we change our actions, or change what goes into our mind, it changes our thoughts which in turn changes our heart (Proverbs 16:3).

Romans 12:2 tells us to not be “conformed to this world”, but to be “transformed by the renewing of your mind”.  Conformed means to be formed, the way a child will form something out of play-doh.  God is using Paul to tell us to allow godly, biblical influences into our mind in order to affect our heart, which will transform us into who God wants us to be.  
Be mindful about the things you expose yourself to, including music, TV, books, friends, drugs/alcohol, and anything that will affect your mind.

The helmet of salvation is this: remember that Jesus bought us with His blood, and we are to glorify Him with our lives (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).  It’s having a constant mindset that we have salvation through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. 

The last piece of armor that we are to put on and leave on is also in 
verse 17.  The sword of the Spirit which is the word of God”. 
The first thing I notice is that this sword, which is the only offensive weapon that we have, does not belong to us but rather it belongs to the the Holy Spirit.  So many Christians throughout history have used this for their own glory and kingdom, rather than letting God use it for His.

In John chapters 14-15, Jesus tells his disciples that when he leaves, He will send a “comforter”.  This word means to have a someone who will guide you by the hand, just as Jesus had done when he was training his disciples.  In John 14:26, Jesus tells us that this comforter, who is going to be the Christian’s advocate, is the Holy Spirit, another person in the Trinity of God, God himself.

Today, when we trust Jesus as our savior, we receive the Holy Spirit who becomes a seal around our soul.  Paul tells us in Ephesians 1:13-14 that He is the “earnest of our inheritance”.  He is the down payment who God can never take back.  He is our comforter until we are in God’s presence 
in heaven. He takes us by the hand to guide us through life.

Anytime that we read or listen to the Word of God, we should be opening ourselves up to the Spirit, using it to change us from the inside.  
Hebrews 4:12 says that “the Word of God is quick (alive), and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart”.
If you are like me, you’re thinking about how painful that would be.  When we allow God, the Holy Spirit, to use its sword – the scripture – to change us from the inside, it is painful.  The peace that comes with that change is worth the pain though.
When we allow God to make the changes in our life that the Word and the Spirit will make, the result is spiritual fruit.  Galatians 5:22 tells us what that fruit is: Love, Joy, Peace, Long-suffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, and Temperance. 
In our everyday life we battle our enemy.  Our only defense from his sneaky attacks is the armor of God, and our only offense is allowing God to produce fruit through the Word of God and the Holy Spirit.


Notice in Ephesians 6:11 that Paul tells us to “put on the whole armor of God”.   Then in verses 14-15 he says to “have on” the belt of truth and the breastplate of righteousness, along with the shoes of the gospel of peace.  In the next two verses he changes up the action; he says to “take” the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit.  Those should always be on us, at all times!

I should have a degree in not leaving my armor on with as much experience as I have in taking it off.  Today I’m hanging out with my cellie Moises at Eden Detention Center in the H-unit, cell 01-104 as a direct result of my actions that I took because I didn’t have my armor on or take with me the instruments of battle that I needed.  But….I am now doing everything to have and take those into my daily battles that I’m fighting in my life. 
Just because I’m in prison does not mean that my life or my ministry is done.  That armor is going to stay on so that I can have victory in my life and produce spiritual fruit that will bring glory to God!  I am getting out of prison someday.  My family deserves to get me back from the Federal “corrections” facility as a completely different man than the one who went into prison.
 
God wants you to have victory and spiritual fruit in your life.  That’s why Paul told us to put on God’s armor and leave it on!
I love you all!




Friday, July 17, 2020

Book Journal - The Mandalorian Armor


Being stuck in quarantine for two weeks had the benefit of allowing me to do a lot of reading, especially as there were few distractions.  The latest book that I’ve read is the first book in a trilogy about the bounty hunter war in Star Wars.  This book is called “The Mandalorian Armor”, by K. W. Jeter.

This trilogy takes part during the original Star Wars, between episodes IV, V, and VI.  The first book jumps back and forth between just after “A New Hope” and during “Return of the Jedi”.
It follows the most famous bounty hunter, Boba Fett.  I don’t remember the events of “Return of the Jedi”, but apparently Fett is swallowed by Jabba the Hutt’s “pet” which is called a sarlacc.  It’s a giant worm-like creature that lives beneath the surface of Tatooine. 
As another bounty hunter, Dengar, is sifting through the remains of a battle in which Jabba is killed and Boba Fett is swallowed by the sarlacc, he comes across Boba who was able to detonate a bomb in the sarlacc’s belly and make his way out.
Now it’s up to Dengar to help Fett survive while keeping him and another survivor of the battle, Neelah (whose memory has been erased but also knows that she is somehow connected to Boba Fett) alive while they are hunted down by people who want to be sure that Boba Fett is actually dead.
It jumps back to see events that happened just after “A New Hope”.  This story line follows Boba as he becomes a pawn in a scheme thought up by Prince Xizor, who is a minion of the emperor.
A dark plan is being played out in order to destroy the bounty hunter guild in order to serve the interests of Xizor and the emperor Palpatine.  There are lots of interesting characters/creatures who are always trying to achieve the impossible, kill Boba Fett.  This includes a father/son duo named Cracossk and Bossk, Kud’ar Mub’at, Kvat of Kvat, Gheeta, and Hamame. 
It is a tangled web, but it’s a lot of fun to read.  I don’t know that there was a single cuss word or anything to do with a sex scene at all.  It has a ton of action and adventure to hold your attention.  I had to take my time reading it, but it was well worth it. 

My sista from the same mista, Krista (lol), has already sent me the second book in this trilogy which is called “Slave Ship”.  Slave I is the name of Boba Fett’s ship, so I’m guessing that Boba survives the final attack on him in this book.  We’ll see! 

In the back of each of these books is a timeline which follows the events of this book series which is known as “The Star Wars Legends Novels”.  
I tore out the timeline from the second book because I’m donating these books to Eden, but I want to keep the timeline and book list.  By my count, there are 144 books in the Legends series.  It’s a good thing that I have a lot of time on my hands 😊.




Thursday, July 16, 2020

White as Snow


In the book of 2 Samuel chapter 2, King David’s life takes a turn for the worse.  This turn didn’t come from out of the blue though.  This turn has been set up by years of spiritual neglect on David’s part.

In his book “David: A Man of Passion and Destiny”, Charles Swindoll points out in 2 Samuel 5:12 that although David knew that it was God who had given him so many blessings, David had multiplied his wives and concubines (5:13).  Swindoll then explains that part of the Jewish law written for Kings (a long time before there was even a Jewish king) says that a king of Israel was to not “multiply wives to himself”. 
Although David was a man after God’s own heart, this is one area of his life that he left God out of. 

Going back to 2 Samuel 11, we learn of David’s sin with Bathsheba.  Instead of going to battle as he should have been, he was looking over at his neighbor’s wife.  From reading through this book of the Bible, it’s pretty obvious that David had a sexual addiction; and just like any other addiction, when you try to feed it and satisfy it, it only grows….it is never satisfied.  And, just like any other addiction, the actions taken because of the addiction are never logical.

If you don’t know the story of David and Bathsheba, I’ll sum it up really quick.  David spies Bathsheba taking a bath and then has her come over to the king’s house.  They have an affair (they are both married to other people) and she becomes pregnant. 
Her husband, Uriah, is off at battle, where he should be.  David has a plan to sweep this all under the rug.  He calls Uriah back to give a report about the other men in battle.  Then he tells him to go home, knowing that Uriah would likely sleep with his wife Bathsheba.  This would make her pregnancy appear to be legitimate. 
Uriah the soldier turns out to be more noble than David the king.  He refuses two nights in a row to leave the palace because if his men couldn’t be at home in their own beds, then he wasn’t going to either.
So now the king hatches a new plan…to murder Uriah.  He sends Uriah back to the battlefield with orders to be put on the front line, close enough to the enemy to be killed.  Joab, David’s general, carries out the order and sends word back to David that the deed has been done, but at the cost of several other soldier’s lives.

Now, David was able to take Bathsheba as his wife because her husband had died.  David was in the clear, hardly anyone would know the truth of what had happened….but God knew and in 2 Samuel 11:27 the Bible says, “the thing that David had done displeased the Lord”.
What is probably about a year later, David is living as if he had not committed adultery or murder.  His new wife had given birth to a bouncing baby boy.  And what a miracle this premature baby was….I’m sure that’s the excuse that they used.

Everything was going fine until God sent the man of God, Nathan, to David.  This part of the story is in 2 Samuel chapter 12. 
Nathan comes to David with a tragic story and was in need of David’s judgement.  It was the story of a poor man who had raised up a lamb in his house and it became more than just a pet, it had become like one of his own kids.  That might sound weird, but I know a lot of people who have furry children too – you know who you are 😉
One of the man’s neighbors was a rich man with a bunch of animals that he used as a way to make a living.  This rich man had some unexpected visitors show up, and as is custom in the Jewish culture, when unexpected guests arrive it was time to eat.  But instead of this rich man taking of his own flock, he went and stole the lamb of the poor man to feed his guests.
This story infuriated the king.  This was both immoral and unlawful.  David stands up at his judgement seat and declares in 2 Samuel 12:5, “the man that has done this thing shall surely die”!
We’ve all been there, sitting at our own little judgment seat, making judgments, all the while being guilty of the same.  Well, I know that I’ve been there.

Now we see Nathan’s response to David’s decree of judgment in verse 7, “Thou art the man”.  I can just see the blank look on David’s face, hear the silence, and feel the awkward tension as Nathan points out the elephant in the room, the beam in David’s eye (Matthew 7:1-4).

I’ve been in all three of these positions before.  I have been the Nathan who has to bring reproof to a brother.  I’ve been the judgmental hypocrite King David.  And most recently, I’ve been the man on the other end of Nathan’s finger, I’ve been “the man”.

I have been telling this story to set up a central point, and we’ve just about arrived on the scene of that point – repentance and reconciliation.  
David is a man after God’s own heart; not because of his righteousness, not because of his warrior spirit which caused him to face Goliath with nothing but a sling and five stones, but because of David’s response to Nathan in verse 13.  “And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord.” 
I’ve been in that spot too.  This happened in a segregation cell in the jail in my city the first night after my arrest.  My Nathan was a Federal agent, and he will always be on my prayer list because I’m grateful for him.  God uses people who you would never expect Him to use.

So, this brings me finally to the portion of scripture that I have been focusing on.  It was written by David right after this confrontation with Nathan.  David, who had just been exposed as an adulterer, a murderer, and a hypocrite, is now so affected by the mercy of God that he wrote Psalm 51.
First, he gets right to the point in his prayer/psalm to God, “Have mercy upon me, O God, according to they loving kindness: according unto the multitude of they tender mercies, blot out my transgressions”.  
In verse 2 he continues, “Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin”.  King David is on his knees before the King of Kings making his request known.  He asks for mercy, and to have his crimes blotted out of the records of heaven.  He wants to be washed not just thoroughly but throughly – that’s all the way through, not just on the outside -  the sin becomes a part of our soul, so it must be washed throughly. 

Revelation 1:5 says, “Jesus Christ….washed us from sins in his own blood”.  He didn’t just lose us from it, He blotted it out and our sin is no more.
David says in Psalm 103:12 that our sin is cast as far as the east is from the west.  When God created the world and physics, He made two points meet between the north and south.  The North Pole where Santa and the elves live, and the South pole where the bad elves live 😊.  But there is not a point where east and west meet.  That’s what David is requesting…blot out my transgressions, wash me through, put my sins where they don’t exist!

Who would not want that?  You see, my sin and your sin are no worse or better than David’s sin.  In Isaiah 59:2 the Bible tells us that our iniquities have separated us from God.  We become spiritually dead because of our sin.
In Romans chapter 6, Paul puts it this way in verse 23, “For the wages of sin is death”.  That death is a spiritual separation that occurred between God and us.  So, David is asking for that separation to be reconciled.

Revelation 20:14 tells us that at the great white throne of judgment that “death and hell will be cast into the lake of fire”.  Jesus refers to this place as a place reserved for the devil and his angels in Matthew 25:41. This is the only place to go if we die while we are separated from God.
This is why Jesus came: to live a perfect life.  That is, He kept the whole law of God and gave his life as a sacrifice for our sins.  1 John 2:2 says that He is the propitiation for our sins and for the sins of the entire world.  That word propitiation means a satisfactory payment or sacrifice.
Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross was the payment to satisfy God’s requirement for our sin.  It was enough to wash away our sin.

To receive this gift of salvation (saved from the eternal separation from God that our sin gives us), we only have to trust Jesus as our savior.  It’s as easy as receiving a gift from someone.  It has already been paid for and is waiting for us to accept it. 
The rest of Romans 6:23 says, “but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord”. 

I was 16 years old when I realized that even though I knew that Jesus died for my sins and I believed in Him, I had never personally received that gift by opening my heart and trusting in Him as my savior.  After a message I heard at a school about the original Passover, I bowed my head while sitting in my metal folding chair.  I told God that I knew I was a sinner and that I trusted Jesus to save me from spending an eternity in hell.  It was that simple.

Going back to Psalm 51, look at verse 7.  David says, “Purge me with hyssop and I shall be clean”.  This is a reference back to the original Passover.  I would love to cover this in detail someday.  But the rest of verse 7 says, “Wash me and I shall be whiter than snow”.  That is what the blood of Jesus does for us, it washes us and makes us that clean, whiter than snow.
I grew up in an area that is known to get a lot of snow.  There have been times where the snow was so white that I had to wear sunglasses and sunscreen because it reflected the sun so much that it was blinding.  It is hard to imagine anything being whiter than snow.
In Mark chapter 9, Jesus takes Peter, John, and James to a mountain.  Verse 2 says that Jesus was transfigured.  Verse 3 tells us that his clothes became “white as snow”.  That is what Jesus does for us, he washes us all the way through and makes us clean and pure – as a “fuller” who would take wool and make it clean/white.  We cannot make ourselves this clean and pure, only Jesus can do that for us.

As we can see from the story of David and Bathsheba, David was far from being a perfect person, yet he is referred to by God as a man after God’s own heart!  (Acts 13:22).  This was because David always feared God and would turn back to God when he sinned.  Fearing God doesn’t mean that we are scared; fearing the Lord means to be in awe of his holiness, to give him complete reverence and to honor him as the God of great glory, majesty, purity and power.

David wrote this in Psalm 32:1-2: “Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.  Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile”. 
Are you that man whose transgressions are forgiven, who has been washed and is made whiter than snow, who has been made whiter than any fuller on earth could make you?  There is a peace that passes understanding when you know that your sins are not counted against you…that God the Father loves you that much. (Philippians 4:7)



Wednesday, July 15, 2020

Rebuilding/Nehemiah


Have you ever faced an obstacle that seemed to be insurmountable?  When I think about what my future holds, on the surface it can be depressing.  The reality of the amount of damage done is very overwhelming to face.
This past weekend, I mentioned to someone on the phone during my morning phone calls that I was hoping to find something during my daily Bible reading to write about.  Writing helps me to focus on my goals and gives me purpose.
This person told me that they would pray that I would be able to come across something that would inspire me as to what to write about that morning.  They must have prayed immediately, and God answered that prayer.  Right after I made my last phone call, I began my daily reading, in the book of Nehemiah.  This story jumped out at me right away 😊.

Nehemiah was a member of the court of the Persian King Artaxerxes 1 in what is now the modern Iran.  He served as the king’s cup-bearer, (Nehemiah 1:11), which would have put him in a close position to the king.
In the book of Nehemiah we find that the people who are in Jerusalem are in “great affliction and reproach” (verse 1:3). The verse continues on to say, “the wall of Jerusalem also is broken down, and the gates thereof are burned with fire.”
This news broke Nehemiah’s heart so much that he wept when he heard of the broken wall and burned gates.  Receiving the bad news became a call for Nehemiah, a challenge to bring change that would glorify God.  Greatly distressed, Nehemiah sought God's will through fasting and prayer to determine what steps he should take to help rectify the terrible conditions of his countrymen.  His prayer is an example of humility and genuine faith in the mercy and power of God to intervene on his behalf. (verses 1:3-11).

Nehemiah realized the urgency of the situation and prayerfully requested, “Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man” (1:11).  Still, it was four months before he was presented with an opportunity to make his request to the king (2:1).  No specific reasons are given for this delay.  Sometimes there may be an interval of time before God answers our prayers, and we have to learn to patiently wait until He does.  Patience or long-suffering is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22), and there are rewards for those willing to put this character trait into practice.

When the king noticed his depressed countenance and asked Nehemiah what made him look sad, Nehemiah said a quick prayer before responding (2:4).  He told the king the reason for his great sadness and asked for the king to send him into Judah to rebuild the wall and the gates.  The king agreed to send Nehemiah, along with a letter authorizing him to get timber from the forest and with soldiers for protection.
Nehemiah shows us how to pray to God and listen for his answers.  In chapter one he spent a long time in prayer from the heart with fasting.
He glorified God with listing the Lord’s attributes, he confessed sins of the people, he trusted God’s promises to Moses to restore the people, and he asked for success before King Artaxerxes.

A remnant of the Israelites had returned to Jerusalem 70 years earlier and rebuilt the temple, but without walls, the city remained vulnerable to attack.  People living in a city without a solid wall remained defenseless and humiliated.  Rebuilding the walls signaled that God once again blessed His people.  A good wall also gave the people a sense of security and community.

The trip to Jerusalem must have been torture and full of anxiety for Nehemiah.  He didn’t yet know the full extent of the damage, how many people he could get to help him, or what kind of enemy he would face.  Plus, the distance traveled would have been close to a thousand miles!
But he did know that this mission was God ordained and he knew that he needed to do it.

The first thing that we see once Nehemiah crosses the Jordan river is that the enemy already knows that Nehemiah is headed to Jerusalem and they know what his mission is.  In 2:10, the Bible tells us that it “grieved them exceedingly that there was come a man to seek the welfare of the children of Israel”.
Nehemiah took three nights to take a tour of the destroyed wall and burned down gates, not telling any of the rulers of Jerusalem that he was there.  He secretly inspected the damage at night.  He understood that without a proper defense that a wall gives a city, then undoubtedly the enemy was already in the city.  His plan included teamwork, persistence, and cooperation, plus trust in God.  He shows how we should take time to make careful plans and listen to God’s guidance.

In verses 17 and 18 of Chapter 2, Nehemiah goes to the rulers and the people of Jerusalem and tells them that God has sent him there to rebuild the wall.  I love the phrase that verse 18 ends with: “So they strengthened their hands for this good work.”
Nehemiah spoke to all the people and inspired them to work. He shared the favor the king gave and how God’s hand had been with him, and that motivated the people. They responded by going to work immediately.  Nehemiah broke them into teams of families to work on the various sections of the wall.  He was also prayerfully prepared when outside opposition began.

Just as rebuilding this wall for Jerusalem is “good work”, so is building the defenses in our lives to keep out our enemy. 
Our spiritual enemy is Satan.  Satan, or Lucifer, is a beautiful angel.  The Bible describes him as an angel of light and music.  Satan is not a scary red, horned, pitchfork carrying, pointy tailed monster.  He’s a subtle angel of evil and destruction.  He does his best work when you don’t see his presence.  When you think that he’s left you alone is when he’s closer to you than ever.
We are no match for Satan, but he is no match for our God!
His tricks are lust, greed, pride, hate, selfishness, and any pleasure that has corruption or causes destruction.  He works in chaos and lives to cause disorder in this world.  Our only defense is God’s order in our life, and to stay close to God’s side.

Immediately after verse 18, we already see the enemy show up.  These guys named Sanballat, Tobiah, and Geshem arrive on the scene to mock and accuse the people of rebelling against the King.
Nehemiah’s response is exactly what it should be, “The God of heaven, he will prosper us; therefore we his servants will arise and build: but ye have no portion, nor right, nor memorial, in Jerusalem”.

This should be our response to our enemy when he tries to stop us from doing God’s work.  One of my biggest battles right now is depression and negativity.  It is hard to not focus on the destruction of the wall or the damage to my life and my family’s life that I’ve caused.  That is my enemy right now, the overwhelming thought of trying to piece things back together.  Yet, I know it’s good work because it’s the new job that God has given to me. 

At first glance, Nehemiah chapter 3 looks very repetitive and boring, but when you take a closer look you will see some great truths.
We see that Nehemiah has gathered up a bunch of people to split up the work.  Anyone from the rulers of cities to goldsmiths to just regular, everyday people showed up and helped with a portion of the wall.  Notice in verse 5 though that Nehemiah points out that some of the nobles “put not their necks to the work of the Lord”.  It might seem strange that some of the leaders of the city weren’t found building the wall back up, but we find out the reason later on.

As the work is being done to repair the breaches in the wall of Jerusalem, we see the enemies pop back up in chapter 4.  Now they’re saying that there is no way that this group of people could ever take this pile of destroyed wall and put it back together.  Do these people really think that they’ll ever be able to get this job done?  “That’s the enemy talking!”  Those words go through my head a lot when I get discouraged.  The wall that I am rebuilding right now with the help of others seems too hard to repair.  But with God’s help and with the help of my support people, I know it will get done.

Look at Nehemiah’s great response to the enemies this time in chapter 
4:4-5.  He prays to God!  He prays a great prayer too.  He asks God to turn their reproach of the people in Jerusalem back onto their own head.  He asks God to not overlook their sin but to look at how they’re making God angry.  Then he and the people get right back to the repair job.  Ha, that’s awesome!

Now the enemies are really mad, and they ramp up their attack in 4:7-8.  Again, the response of Nehemiah and the people is to pray and to work.  But this time we see the people go to work armed with more than tools in verses 13 and in 16-18.  In verse 17, he says that the workers worked with one hand and held a weapon with their other hand. 
If you are going to build your wall, you’re going to make your enemy angry.  He wants your city; he wants to control your life with all of his favorite tools and to create chaos.  When you build your wall on the precepts and order of God, our enemy knows that he won’t be able to break through, so he’s going to ramp up his efforts to stop you.  So, you better be ready to battle while you build.

In verses 19-23 of chapter 4, Nehemiah ramps up his efforts as well.  In the end of this chapter he enlists anyone else in the city who would be willing to take a stand.  He gathers them together and tells the people that there are big gaps between each person and groups of people.  The man who had the trumpet would be standing next to Nehemiah while he worked.  And when Nehemiah gave the word, he would sound the trumpet.  This would be the call to the people to come fill in the gap and to be ready to defend Jerusalem and God’s work to rebuild.

This morning I was talking to my mom on the phone.  I was telling her that I’m looking around and seeing so many men who are facing the hardest battle of their life, but they don’t have the support system to help them or back them up like I do.  I told her how when all of this started that I knew I would have three or four people to help me through this.  I am a blessed man, and I’m here to tell you that it’s turned out that there’s an amazing amount of people who showed up for me as soon as they heard that I needed help.  I am so grateful for my “support system”.  It’s always growing too 😊 and they are always there when I need them.  I am spoiled compared to what I see around me.  If I know who you are and you want to be a part of this amazing group, just let us know.  This support system isn’t just about building my wall – we build each other up. 

Before I move onto chapter 6, look at the last verse of chapter 4, verse 23.  Nehemiah tells us that they worked hard and long; they didn’t quit until the work was done.  They didn’t give up and nothing was going to stop the progress.
Rebuilding a destroyed wall, life, or relationship takes a lot of hard work.  You need to be tenacious to get the job done.  It can be monotonous work that will get old fast.  It’s not work for the slothful, or for the weak of heart.  It is for those of character or those who desire to build character while doing the work of God.
I am an active person.  I love to be busy working on something all the time.  So, being in a jail is very nerve wracking.  They give us three meals a day, a bathroom, and bed, a tiny book cart, sometimes a TV and access to a phone.  For my first 3-1/2 months I was almost always in a tank with other inmates, so I was able to at least interact with others, watch some TV, and trade books.  But then being stuck in 8 X 12 cell 24 hours a day made it harder to find things to do, and it took a lot of work.  I found ways to fill most of my day with activities that helped me put my wall back up.  There was no TV, no people to talk to, no easy access to a phone.  But, I had a constant flow of good books from my group of people, my Bible, notebooks, Bible study books, letters to read and write, a “how to draw” book along with drawing paper and colored pencils.  I had my radio and enough floor space to do some workouts. 
I also was able to do my own laundry in my sink.  The laundry service in the jail puts more dirt into our clothes than they take out.  I would give them my uniform and when I got it back it smelled like burned dirt.  I would rinse it out in the shower and at first, the water that came from my clothes was brown.  So, the ability to wash my own clothes was huge and kept me busy for a whole day too.  I think that what Nehemiah is telling us is that building a wall from rubble while the enemy is attacking is not for sissies!

Now, in chapter 6 the enemy is back and is taking a new angle.  This is the chapter where we find out why some of the leaders of the city weren’t very eager to sign up to be on the wall rebuilding crew. 
Immediately in verse 1 we see that the enemy shows back up and observes that there is no breach left in the wall.  The only work left to be done at this time was to hang the gates.  I guess they were waiting on the permit, lol.
Oh man, you know the enemy was irate at this point.  None of their regular tactics had worked.  But just as I stated earlier, our enemy is subtle and tricky.  Ephesians 6:11 tells us that putting on the armor of God allows us to stand against the “wiles of the devil” who is always working behind the scenes and behind our backs.
The first trick is easy to spot; in verses 2 and 4 they try four times to get Nehemiah to leave the safety of the walled city.  He’s not that dumb. 
Next, they try a new one in verses 5-8; they brought him a letter saying that they were going to the king with news that Nehemiah was setting himself up as the king in Jerusalem, and that he should come out and talk to them about it.  That didn’t work either. Check out Nehemiah’s response in verse 9.  After the enemy says, “Their hands shall be weakened from the work”, he says, “O God, strengthen my hands”.  Those are five powerful words in a time like that.  I tell you though, when you ask God to give your hands strength, you better be ready to work.
Now, the last trick that the enemies have for Nehemiah is one that they’ve been working on before he even arrived at Jerusalem.  In verse 10, Nehemiah is at the house of a “friend” named Shemaiah.  And this friend has an idea that could save Nehemiah’s life – hey, let’s go over to the house of God and you can hide out there so that when they come at night to kill you, they won’t be able to get to you.  Again, Nehemiah’s response is godly.  In verse 11 he says, “Should such a man as I flee?...I will not go in”.  He wasn’t about to hide out in the house of God when the work of God needed to get done!


In verse 12 we’re going to see that Nehemiah is man of understanding.
To get a feel of what this means, look in Proverbs chapter 8 where we find that Wisdom is crying at the gates of the city - she makes her call in the most public of places, by the gates, at the entry of the city - to come to her.  Wisdom, with nothing to hide is available to everyone.  Wisdom is not hidden, it cries out to all who will listen.  Just as Christianity is for all, so is wisdom, knowledge, and understanding which are attributes of God.  
In verse 14 she calls herself understanding.  Then in Proverbs 17:24, Solomon says this: “Wisdom is before him that hath understanding.”  When you have understanding, you have access to wisdom. 
Nehemiah was given the option to go and hide from his enemy in the house of God.  But he understood the situation, and something seemed fishy to him.  He says in verse 12 that he “perceived” that this was not of God but that this friend was hired and doing a job for the enemy.  

I want to skip ahead to verses 17-19 Chapter 6 before looking at 15-16.  Nehemiah writes that many of the leaders were connected to the enemy.  This was the reason that we saw some of the leaders not putting their “neck to the work of the Lord” in chapter 3.  The enemy controlled those men, so there was no way they were going to lift a finger to help Nehemiah rebuild the wall.
Our enemy is always at work around us to get us to quit building up our wall of protection.  This was the enemy’s best attempt to get Nehemiah to quit the work; not the direct attacks or the mocking, not even the attempt to get Nehemiah to leave, but to have people already in the city to try to bring the effort to stop progress from the inside, including even plans to kill him. 

The enemy knows me well and knows my weaknesses.  He almost got me to quit before I even got started.  A few times already I’ve been pretty discouraged, but I am determined, with God's help, to not quit this work.  
I am determined to continue to work despite the enemy’s efforts to discourage me and get me to quit.  Our only defense against this attack is to do what Nehemiah does…get to doing God’s work.  He will give us the wisdom and understanding to accomplish this!

So, back to Chapter 6, verses 15-16.  The workers finished building this wall in 52 days!  Look at how the enemy responds in verse 16: “…when all our enemies heard thereof, and all the heathen that were about us saw these things, they were much cast down in their own eyes: for they perceived that this work was wrought of our God”.  They knew they were defeated because this work was of God and the people of God kept their focus on God.

If you read through the rest of Nehemiah, which is a total of 13 chapters, you’ll see that they dedicate the wall and they celebrate its completion.  
But they don’t stop working, now it’s onto cleaning up the town.  It also documents another of Nehemiah’s accomplishments which was to make a record and genealogy of all the nobles, officials and people who were then living in Judah.

One last thing: In chapter 13 verses 7-8, years later Nehemiah has found that Eliashib, a high priest, gave the enemy, Tobiah, (remember him from chapter 2) a great room in the courts of the house of God.  Nehemiah simply gathers all of Tobiah’s stuff and takes it to the curb, lol.

I hope you get as much as I did from this story.  I hope that you can apply these truths to your life and to the building of your wall.  
Nehemiah believed that God would use him to get the wall rebuilt.  He never tried to attack his enemies, but trusted God would deal with them.  
He recognized God’s blessings and favor and shared the news with the people to give them hope and motivate them.
Nehemiah was not a spiritual leader or prophet. His fasting and praying triggered changes.  Through his process of rebuilding and dedicating the wall we can learn many lessons from Nehemiah on prayer, leadership, overcoming enemies, restoring hearts, and integrity.

I truly appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read this.  Please let me know what you get from this story.